I was caught by an article titled “Why Men Crave Real (Not Perfect) Bodies,”my curiosity was piqued because it was written by a guy which I found unusual, so I wanted to see what direction he’d take the story. I even made the broad-brush assumption that after several failed romances that his story would end with resolved emotions and a double D blond bombshell with silicone cheeks and a collagen pout. I initially intended to just skim over it and move on to the real reason I logged on to my computer but I was drawn into his story and his process of coming to understand his own conflicts with women who under go plastic surgery.
In one relationship he talks about a woman who never told him that she had a nose job and he found out when he saw old pictures of her. She had shared other very personal stories and he wondered why she never told him about her nose. He described it like it could have been an intimate discussion, one that she never trusted him to have. Who wouldn’t want to listen to a narrator who would reduce those circumstances to an opportunity to share something deeply personal. Suffice it to say, I finished reading all three pages of his story.
When I finished I thought about my 18 year old daughter who insists she wants plastic surgery some day. What makes me sad is that she’s really beautiful…but most of her friends are blond and tan, and her hair is the color of mocha and her skin is like porcelain. Her friends are thin and straight up and down and she is a perfect hour-glass. Women have been binding their bodies since the beginning of time to match her silhouette but she see’s no beauty. I know moving through teen years it’s all about fitting in…not standing out. Beauty in her eyes is defined by commonalities and a belief that perfection is desirable.
Just over a year ago, her father died. When she talks about him and the memories she cherishes most, they don’t involve perfection they embrace his imperfection…those things that made him, him. Corny jokes… mispronounced words. I know that given her age that this is all normal but I’m posting this man’s story for her…and for anyone else who may think that imperfect is the same as inadequate.