As I inch towards my 50 year milestone I’ll be the first to admit that I have no idea about anything at this stage in my life. Hitting my 40’s meant changes in my shape, hair, skin and as I’ve moved through my 40’s I’ve spent the bulk of my time mastering things that I never before had to think about such as diet and exercise. As I’ve continued the process of decomposing I’ve often been grateful to be single, assured there will be no witnesses to recall any painfully awkward transition periods. I bring this topic up because I’ve recently had a string of strange experiences and wonder if hormones may be the influencing factor.
On Wednesday I stopped at a small gas station, so small that you couldn’t swipe a debit card you had to go in and pay. When I entered there was a line, a woman paying and 3 men behind her. The man who was next in line to check out glanced at me then looked again like a deer in headlights muttering “hi” seemingly without realizing. It was like his own words pierced reality and he was slightly embarrassed having uttered something out loud. Man 1’s reaction caused the man behind him to look at the object Man 1 was stuttering over and his reaction was almost identical…blank stare like a spell was cast followed by yet another stilted “hi”. Then man 3 put the gum package he is reading down, glanced over his shoulder and offered me a long slow….”hey”. At this point the cashier who was slightly younger male than the other 3, scans the line of men trying to piece together all the hi’s and hey’s …but he only scans until he reaches me at which point a half smirk pulls one corner of his mouth…like it suddenly all made sense.
At that I decide that the line was no longer curving towards the door instead I stepped to the far back so I was stacked behind the men and no one could see me including the smirking cashier. Naturally, before the men left the convenience store each one stopped to wish me a happy Thanksgiving…I felt like the Pope minus the ring to be kissed.
When I reached my car I promptly locked the doors of my vehicle unsettled by the whole experience and drove off glad to have innate reclusive tendencies.
This was but one example, since I had other errands that day it turned out that the phenomenon wasn’t confined to gas station pod-people. I had a similar experience later in the grocery store, the following day at a different gas station… where a man walked into a stationary trash can while looking over his shoulder at me more times than he should have and then again at a pharmacy.
This made me wonder…do pre-menopausal / menopausal women cast a hormonal spell on select men that stop them in their tracks and render them momentarily brainless? Like a giant neon sign saying.. Now! She’s going out of season, which causes their autopilot switch to be flipped, triggering a blank stare followed by a garbled, uneasy…hi at which point man regains consciousness realizing he’s mid sentence with a women he’s never seen before and suddenly has no idea why he started talking let alone what to say to her next.
The only thing I could think of to account for this referenced rutting season, if it isn’t hormonal then I’m back to the pod-people from a womanless planet theory.