I sent a birthday card to my cousin in England, I thought it was a funny card so I posted it.
A Birthday Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, there was a princess wo was like a size four or something. She could eat whatever she wanted and always stayed really skinny and had flat, firm abs even though she never went to the gym.
Every time she tried on jeans, the very first pair fit perfectly and made her butt look amazing. She lived in a great big, beautiful castle with her handsome, multimillionaire husband, who was busy all the time buying her giant diamonds, taking her to Hawaii, giving her foot massages, and telling her how beautiful she was.
One day, she was eaten by a dragon and no one cared.