Today I Want…

Today I want winter to end and menopause to begin. I want to take a long walk in warm weather. I want to read a book on the back patio while sipping wine and roasting Red Crab on the grill. I want Amish Snap Peas from my garden, I want the house to fill with the garlicky smell of Roma tomatoes roasting. I want the windows open, I want my sheets to dry on an outdoor clothesline. I want to fill a basket with fresh organic asparagus then fold it into a bed of Parmesan Fettuccine. Today I want my bare feet to feel the earth.

Turning Blue

Earlier this week I bought electric mattress pads…that was heaven. I happened to have been really tired the day I put it on my bed and I was sore from moving furniture. That night I slipped into bed with tea and a book as always, I thought I might read for a while except the heat felt so good that I think I melted to the sheets. When awoke my tea cup was still full and my book was next to me unopened.

Today its about 19 degrees outside, the thermostat is set at 69, I’m wearing 3 sweaters and I’m so cold my fingernails look blue…I’m freezing. Maybe its time to log off the desktop computer in my home office, grab my laptop and creep upstairs to my heated sheets. I wonder if I’ll fall asleep?

Winter Clothes

Now that I’ve packed away all my favorite summer clothes, I’m looking in my closet wondering…what the hell did I wear last winter? I have all my office clothes, mostly skirts and jackets…I even managed to zip my size 2 skirts for the first time since forever, but those are my work clothes.  I keep thinking that I have to be missing a storage container, if not, I’m staying in my pajama’s until I’m re-employed…now what happened to those chocolate patent leather choo’s I bought yesterday.

I want summer back…I miss girl clothes already.

Ready…or not

I finally packed away my summer clothes and unpacked my winter ones. As much as I love the season’s I’m just not ready for the bulk and the layers and I’m not ready to give up my outdoor living space or the trampoline.  I might prefer visiting the seasons rather than living in a climate where a 50 below zero windchill isn’t unheard of. 

It is only October and already my feet haven’t been warm in days. Everything is changing and different in ways I don’t like and I don’t welcome. In so many areas of my life, I feel like a kid being tugged along by the arm…whether I want to go or not. It makes me want to roll over, pull the comforter over my shoulder and wake up when its warm, maybe when change is a choice between things that I welcome.