Hating on the Holiday’s

There is no part of the holiday season I hate more than being inundated by stupid television commercials.  At present the one I hate the most is a diamond commercial where a “hearing boy” gives his deaf girlfriend diamonds but first he shows her that he knows how to sign Merry Christmas.

Naturally she’s over come with silent excitement and enthusiasm over his split-second hand gestures; like he just spent a year learning to speak perfect Chinese.  Seriously, she’s hearing impaired not stupid… although her boyfriend might be since signing 2 words appears to be a difficult and complicated feat for him.

Let me just say…barf.

The one I hate the second most is yet another diamond commercial. Mom rocking baby in the middle of the night, Dad gets up in his t-shirt and gives her a diamond.  I imagine her saying, “Oh, honey I can’t wait to see what it looks like on my hand cleaning a dirty diaper!”

Seriously, she doesn’t want a diamond, she wants him to take the baby and say go get some sleep.

The third most hated Christmas commercial is the perfume commercial with a couple ice skating to I’ve Got You Babe. Naturally she can skate well and he keeps falling down, but he is sincerely trying to meet her in her world. It’s about as stupid and trite as that scene in New Moon where the writer wanted to depict a happy future for Bella and Edward by dressing them in white and showing them running through a meadow. It’s vampire fiction not a Julie Andrews film.

Once again, let me just say…barf.

Here’s a commercial I did like! Anyone whose raised a daughter over the last decade knows this commercial is pitch perfect. From the beat, to the dance to the gestures…its all girl.

And another that made my Holiday Like List:

The Last Day of School

Yesterday was Alexa’s last day of school. It was a bittersweet day that Alexa both looked forward to and dreaded.

When Alexa’s Dad died 2 years ago she wrote and read a tribute at his funeral, a good-bye letter if you will. In her letter she said that she feared the big days ahead, like graduation and someday getting married. She said that the milestones in her life would be marked by his absence.

Alexa made it clear to me that she would not walk in a graduation ceremony afraid she’d be reduced to tears and throughout her last year of high school I wondered if she’d graduate at all. She struggled with chronic illness related immune deficiency and she grieved over lost health and a lost father. Her grades fell.

Her greif counselor told me not to push her and sometimes I didn’t, and sometimes I did. I knew if Alexa didn’t graduate that she was still an able, capable girl, even more important Alexa knows she’s an able capable girl. But I was afraid if she gave up on graduation that it would give her more of a reason to give up on life. Alexa and I discussed our terms, she agreed to follow through with earning the credit needed to graduate and only said, “just stay with me,” and so I did.

Finishing class yesterday reminded her that she couldn’t call her Dad to say, ” I did it Dad,” but she imagined what he might  have said and how proud of her he would have been.

After her online classes ended at noon we loaded into the car and left for the suburbs of Minneapolis. Nick had a new car to pick up and Alexa and I made plans to visit Cookie Strange at Great Clips in Champlin.

Cookie is one of my closest friends, daughter. I’ve known Cookie ever since she was born and her Mother named her Emily…which she later changed to Cookie. Cookie works magic on hair and I will follow her to the end of the earth because she makes my hair fabulous.

The last time I got my haircut I had it done locally, it is viewable in all of my online photos. The cut was alright but it wasn’t the kind of cut that you could blow dry and go and it didn’t fare well on windy days in the garden. I need hair that you can seriously mess up and I prefer an modern edge because age appropriate just sucks,  as always Cookie delivered.

When Alexa and I finished getting our hair cut we went to Totally Tan. As Alexa’s health has worsened her skin color has become very light but her hair is dark. During the summer she frequently hides in jeans feeling like her legs glow white. She also burns easily so I agreed to take her to a place that offers a full body spray tan.

After I paid for Alexa’s tan, Alexa looked at me and said…”Aren’t you going to go?” I hesitated, I have  to attend a birthday party and a wedding today…but thought I could use some color. After asking a pile of questions I decided to try it. The experience was absolutely dreadful, it so cold it almost took my breath away and I forgot to use the shower cap so I stepped out once again feeling like Bridget Jones.

On the drive home Alexa and I talked about her Dad, upcoming graduation parties, what to wear to the wedding and we started to turn a warm brown …maybe not so bad. By this morning I staggered to the kitchen for coffee on gingerbread colored legs and thought; definitely not bad.

Random Thoughts

Random thought 1)

I’m recovering today, I thought I looked like shit but my color is coming back so I’m upgraded to looking like crap:)

Random thought 2)

God made boobs so fast food wouldn’t land on our lap while we’re driving…good thing I was wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt the mayonnaise nearly landed on the tongue…I hope it comes out, I love that t-shirt.

Random thought 3)

All fiction writing days are the best days!

Spring Rain

The garden finally got tilled this afternoon and by the length of the nap I took afterward you would have assumed I was the one who labored over it.  As the yard serviceman tilled the very last row of my garden drops of rain dotted my face and hair as cracks of thunder rumbled across the afternoon sky. I intended to work inside of the house but was  so sleepy that I climbed the stairs to my room instead. As the rain tapped against my window Simon & Garfunkel‘s Kathy’s Song played in my head until the space filled with strange dreams.

Conversation Primer

Image by im4t00l via Flickr

Why do guys think I need help in the automotive department? Seriously, do I look in the least bit lost or confused? If its just an excuse to talk to me, I don’t mind but let me give you a hint…if you’d like to get to know me don’t begin your conversation with me by insulting my intelligence.

Oh and as far as the “didn’t know girls knew much about small gas engines…” comment.  I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure I have a small gas engine on my lawn mower, snow blower and dirt bike, not in my Pontiac Vibe.

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Free Annette Yeomans, Jail Bernie Madoff

Bernie Madoff isn’t in jail but Annette Yeomans is? Yeomans is the bookkeeper who embezzled millions and purchased over 400 pairs of shoes.  If Bernie Madoff’s crimes aren’t serious enough to warrant tossing him in jail, surely any civilized person with an appetite for shoes could understand Yeomans weakness.

I mean lets be honest,  it’s not like any of us went to see Sex and the City to witness Carrie Bradshaw and Big’s wedding. We went for the clothes, we went for the shoes, we went to see a fictitious and mythical man give a woman a really BIG closet.

When I first heard of Yeomans crime and the 400 pairs of shoes my heart  skipped a beat just thinking about a room fill with that many shoes! All the different styles and designers she could slide her feet into, I sighed. There are things that I can live without but there are  also things that just shouldn’t be missed.

To hell with ballet flats and kitten heels… give me legs that go on forever!

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A Riding Vacuum Cleaner:)

Image by itspaulkelly via Flickr

Today was a shopping day which included the purchase of a new vacuum cleaner. I procrastinate these kinds of purchases because I hate spending over 200.00 on an item that isn’t in anyway fun. For that kind of money I could buy an iPod Touch or one of those under the cupboard television sets with the screen that flips down; you know fun. I planned to purchase one last year but didn’t which meant that buying one this year was a must.

Since I wasn’t going to get anything remotely entertaining I picked a Hoover WindTunnel vacuum cleaner. This particular model was the small canister type that I could use on carpet or wood floors but the real clincher to the deal was that it looked like I could sit on it and scoot from room to room if I was so inclined. This made the Hoover WindTunnel the perfect choice  because the  purchase was both functional and fun (wink).

Bon Appetit

Image via Wikipedia

I spent most of my day yesterday in St. Cloud.  My mother wanted to shop for clothes and I frequently join her because  I’m good at breezing through  a store and plucking items off the rack to pull together outfits. A nd I also remember what she looked at on previous shopping trips so when she says, “oh, I like that.” I can say, “you looked at it last time we were here and they don’t have your size.” She typically doesn’t believe me and will check the tags only to discover that… they don’t have her size, then she looks at me suspiciously.  I’ve often envied my mother for this because she’s able to look at the same items with first-sight delight whereas I feel I’ve seen it before, because I have.

Yesterday I grabbed a black jacket that I thought would be great cut on her, maybe a bit more fashion forward than she typically goes but I thought she’d be sold on the way it looked on her. At first she frowned at it and said she didn’t like it. I frowned back and said, humor me. So she he tried it on then bought it.

By the time we finished shopping my mother had amassed over $300.00 in clothing for $50.00. In addition to the black jacket she also purchased a suede coat for $7.49, its original price was around $79.00 and a double breasted gray wool coat for $29.99, originally priced at $200.00, it was a good day.

After shopping we typically eat out, I was on a schedule so we decided to skip our favorite establishments and eat at Arby’s in the mall. As my mother and I ate a woman came in coughing like she had TB and she naturally took a seat close to me.  After coughing up a lung she began blowing her nose. I try to accept the fact that people are different but I honestly don’t have the stomach for that and certainly not while I’m eating, my mother was less phased than I was and finished her sandwhich. I stopped short and as the coughing and blowing continued I excused myself opting to meet my mother in the mall, lest my stomach turn inside out.

I don’t know what it is with this particular Arby’s but on one other occassion, while I was eating with Nick and Alexa, a woman pulled her toddler from the bathroom with a bare bottom and stood him next to the trash where she finished cleaning his bottom with paper towels. Naturally I was sitting directly across from her work area and I found it so off the charts offensive that I wanted to fall over laughing. I just kept thinking, you cannot possibly be serious!

The trash had one of those hinged openings so she was pushing poopy paper towels though the opening to throw them away. The really astonishing part was that an employee witnessed the butt mopping in the dining area and did nothing, she didn’t even disinfect the opening on the rubbish bin. I wondered about the people who dined later and pushed open that very door… with their hand. Both instances made me wonder about the cleanliness of fast food estabishments, especially when the tables aren’t washed regularly…ish.

Single-Payer Bill Introduced in the House -H.R. 676

Tell your representatives to support single-payer health care!

Rep. John Conyers has reintroduced HR 676, The United States National Health Care Act, which would eliminate private insurance companies and create a national health care system that would guarantee that all Americans have access to high-quality health care.

A single-payer system would be financed by taxpayers and would remove financial barrierse, such as unaffordable co-payments and premiums, that prevent people from seeking needed care.

Please, call your representative today regarding this crucial issue! Our goal is to flood congressional offices with calls so lawmakers understand how crucial it is to fix the health care crisis.

If he or she is currently a co-sponsor or co-sponsored HR 676 in the past, ask him or her to stand firm for the bill and actively seek additional co-sponsors. If he or she has yet to co-sponsor HR 676, ask him or her to please become a co-sponsor immediately!

You can find your member of the House here, or simply call the Capitol switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for your representative. Don’t know if your representative is a co-sponsor of HR 676? Find out  here

Click here to learn more about Single-Payer health care

The above links will bring you to your representatives page where you’ll find a link where you can send them an email. If you don’t want to call, feel free to contact them via email.

The following this the note I sent to Congressman Jim Oberstar:

Dear Congressman Oberstar,

I understand the Single-Payer bill, H.R. 676 will without doubt face opposition from the insurance industry and other special interest groups. Americans are in crisis and it’s time for true leaders to bring about the change this country desperately needs. If you haven’t co-authored this bill I urge you to do so, then urge other legislators to do the same.

Be the change America needs.

Moose are Overrated

After Ashely Judd took aim at Sarah Palin over aerial wolf hunting, Sarah fired back in an attempt to shame Judd by calling it population control and pointing out that many Alaskans rely on wildlife for food.

I imagine this would have been a wise sound byte to use when she was campaigning, as I recall Palin herself admitted that aerial wolf hunting was controversial and “a pretty big deal up here”,  I’m of course paraphrasing but still. If what she fired at Judd had any merit at all, you would have expected that she would have made that point on the campaign trail. Of course its not surprising that families hunt for food, I just don’t think their the ones who are doing it from helicopters.

I’m not at all opposed to hunting or people who hunt but aerial hunting makes me squeamish. It’s a bit like shooting dogs in a barrel…or was that fish?  Either way, it makes me think of that scene in Dances with Wolves where the Buffalo lay skinned across the landscape and the site makes the air leave my lungs.

I don’t know if Judd’s group is opposed to all hunting, it certainly doesn’t sound like it. But I think there’s a legitimate beef with aerial hunting,  on this issue I have to run with the pack…besides Moose are overrated (wink).

I understand killing something to eat…I just have no concept of killing as a sport. It’s reminds me of  those bumper stickers that say… Evolve Damn It!